Inevitably, Irrevocably

Another birthday has gone by. It went by several weeks ago, in fact, but I am only now reviewing my annual progress towards 30.

By thirty-years-old, your adult will probably be able to...

Maintain eye contact while speaking
Refrain from discussing high school
Make small talk
Acknowledge other viewpoints (social)
Detect and respond to ambiguity

I've got two years to go here, and even though I can accomplish each of these proficiencies in isolation, mastering the four of them together continues to be a struggle. This is especially true when I attempt the more advanced proficiency, "Refrain from discussing college"; less-so since beginning work on "Make a martini (vodka)."

Recently, however, I've been wondering if I am wasting my time by working so diligently towards these standards. Birthdays, after all, merely remind us that "for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end."



And what if we actually regress?

The Referendum is a phenomenon typical of (but not limited to) midlife, whereby people, increasingly aware of the finiteness of their time in the world, the limitations placed on them by their choices so far, and the narrowing options remaining to them, start judging their peers’ differing choices with reactions ranging from envy to contempt...Yes: the Referendum gets unattractively self-righteous and judgmental. Quite a lot of what passes itself off as a dialogue about our society consists of people trying to justify their own choices as the only right or natural ones by denouncing others’ as selfish or pathological or wrong.

Which would mean that accomplishing proficiencies like "Acknowledge other viewpoints (social)" and "Detect and respond to ambiguity" will be more difficult at 40 than they are at 30 (or 28). And naturally this doesn't bode well for careerist pastimes that require proficiencies like "Tie a half-Windsor knot" and "File his taxes (standard 1040)."

For my part, I think I'll focus on truly mastering one or two proficiencies and hope that it sticks with me.