Don't It Feel Good?

Loyal readers know that I recently finished my third marathon, a race that showcased my improved ability to control any walking I do over the final miles. What I still cannot control, it seems, is any kind of emotion that creeps to the fore while I am also trying to control the walking.

With that in mind, then, my apologies to the spectators with the speakers just past Mile 25. I shouldn't have cursed. But in the future it would be easier for everyone involved if you would excise "Another One Bites The Dust" from your playlist if you are planning on cheering anywhere after the fifth mile.

This, at least, was a mere time-place-and-manner speech infraction. The DJs at the Rice Park Ice Rink in St. Paul wish they had your problem. Here now is a call for members of the ice skating class that suffered through "Walking On Sunshine" last Friday night. And for your review, the elements of our primary claim:

Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress

1. Defendant acted intentionally or recklessly

-Someone pressed "Play"

2. Defendant's conduct was extreme and outrageous

-Walking On Sunshine is the literal opposite of Using Razors To Slide On Ice

3. Defendant's act was the cause of distress

-see 2

4. Plaintiff suffers severe emotional distress as a result of Defendant's conduct.

-Plus, in an environment as uncontrolled as a skating rink, who knows how much additional physical damage I (we?) caused during that song?